This is one of my all-time, favourite POSSIBILITY QUESTIONS.

The first time I came across the notion of “possibility questions” was almost 20 years ago when I was doing reasonably OK in my NHS management career and seemed to be going from strength to strength on the outside but inside I still felt something was missing.

I just wasn’t as happy and fulfilled as I should have been. I had that feeling that I wasn’t really where I was meant to be and there must be something more I was meant to do with my life.

So, I did what we all do from time to time and scoured the internet for some self-help inspiration!

I found it in Paul McKenna’s book “Change Your Life in 7 Days” and that was my first introduction to “possibility questions”, reframing and hypnosis and how it can help you follow you dreams!

When I really, truthfully thought about what I would do if I knew I couldn’t fail, I realised I was just existing and going through the motions of life not living the life I really wanted and not doing what I really wanted to do.

Now, while I didn’t exactly change my life in 7 days at the time, when I look back now, I can see how much it absolutely sparked my interest in the power of the mind and how to programme it for success and how that has influenced the eventual direction I took in my career.

Little did I know back then that I’d be using “possibility questions”, hypnosis and reframing as tools and techniques in my own coaching business to help my clients manage their mindset, emotions, energy and impact, so they can take back control of their lives and follow their dreams too.

SO, WHAT ARE POSSIBILITY QUESTIONS?

They are empowering questions that presuppose the positive which makes your brain search for different options and puts you into a more resourceful state.

If you keep finding yourself “stuck” or feeling “trapped” by a situation or problem, try focusing on asking “possibility questions” instead of negatively oriented questions.

If you keep asking your mind “why can’t I do this?” or “why does this always happen to me?” it will come up with all the reasons you can’t do it and why it keeps happening and that results in CHRONIC STUCKNESS!

We just can’t help ourselves because we’re wired to focus more on the negative than the positive, something called “negativity bias” which is our brain’s primitive survival mechanism to keep us alive. So, we overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate the resources we have both internally and externally for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities.

That’s why it’s helpful to focus and direct your brain on the POSSIBILITIES!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN’T FAIL?

First make a list of your unfettered answers!

Is your next thought to move straight on to “I CAN’T DO THIS BECAUSE………..”

That’s ok, that will help you find some of the subconscious fears and blocks holding you back, but then ask yourself another POSSIBILITY QUESTION:

“WHO WOULD I BE WITHOUT THESE FEARS AND BLOCKS”?

🔽

“WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR ME TO START SHIFTING THESE”?

🔽

“HOW CAN I MOST EASILY MAKE THIS WORK”?

🔽

“WHAT ACTIONS ARE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO TAKE NOW TO MOVE TOWARDS WHERE I WANT TO BE”?

“Questions direct your focus, and you always get more of what you focus on in life”

Thank you Paul McKenna!

If you feel you’re just too “stuck” or “trapped” by your own mind and are struggling with that chronic stuckness, then let’s connect and have a chat.

You can book a call to find out more about how my FREE YOUR MIND ,7 week 1-2-1 programme can help you.

I now do what I love and love what I do and I love helping you.🧡

3 Steps to Discovering

What’s Your Why in Life

Determining what our purpose is in life can be one of the hardest quests that we as humans

ever go on. I find these 3 simple steps useful to start exploring your feelings, thoughts and

what’s important to you which will help get you moving in a meaningful direction.

STEP 1 – UNDERSTAND THE PRINCIPLE OF CHOICE

“The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been

groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself

into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have

courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choices

that are made”. Norman Vincent Peale

“Choosing” is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are

proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to

know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you

make in your life become your goal. And, if you are determined in pursuing them, there is no

reason why you shouldn’t achieve them.

By contrast, indecision, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuse

the subconscious mind about what you want. It is important though, that the choices you

make are made by you, in alignment with your true desires, values  and natural abilities. A lot

of us let others make choices for us, or make our choices according to what we think we

‘should do’, even if that means that we go against our wishes and sometimes our values.

What is right for someone else may not be right for you, and the way to know this is by

absolutely listening to what your heart and soul says.

So, to begin with, make a list of things which interest you; things which you have always

enjoyed, which make you feel better, which inspire you to surge ahead, no matter what

obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you

enjoy nature? Do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of

making a difference in other people’s life?

Whatever it is that interests you, write it down and answer these questions:

• What thing do you love to do?

• What is it that you love in this thing and why?

• How could you do this for money, and make a living out of it?

STEP 2 – CREATE YOUR UNDERLYING PRINCIPLE

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring

theme. Maybe, it’s making a contribution that keeps coming up, or there’s a creative and arts

theme? Perhaps it’s all about family or wanting to change the world and be an activist

making a difference. Whatever it is, try to identify the central theme of the things you love

to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission

Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced

you. Of course, this statement could evolve over time, but its likely its heart and soul will

remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

STEP 3 – ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR UNDERLYING PRINCIPLE 

The final step is to think about how you can begin to align your daily life with your

underlying purpose and build in time to make some changes and do some of the activities

that you’re passionate about, that interest you and bring you joy and satisfaction.  By

making these little changes in your lifestyle, you will start to be able to begin living this

principle out each and every day. It might take a few days, but by becoming aware and

intentional of this underlying principle of your life, you will certainly start to feel the

difference in your enthusiasm for life as a whole. If you realize that you love being out in

nature, get out more or take up a hobby to get you out more – much like I did with

paddleboarding recently!  If you discover that you enjoy helping those in need, start to look

for opportunities to volunteer in your community. There is nothing better than focusing on

being of service to others to help you feel happier and better about yourself. On the other

hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business that is more in line

with your mission. Now that would be exciting, wouldn’t it? She says speaking from

experience🙌

Remember:

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it

courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

By following along with the steps outlined above, you will be on your way to finding and

living out your purpose and knowing from moment to moment why you are here.

It’s never too late to find your why, purpose and raison d’etre!💖

Inspirational Messages of Hope, Belief, Faith and Love from

Courageous Women 🧡

It can’t have escaped your notice that it was International Women’s Day on Wednesday last week and I was very lucky to get a complimentary invitation to attend the Aspire International Woman’s Day “It’s a M.A.D World” Global Event.

Aspire is a female leadership development organisation led by Dr. Sam Collins and she was one of the first of many inspirational women who inspired and empowered me to start my solopreneur journey to do my bit to make a difference to women’s lives for the better.

I was looking forward to the webinar and it didn’t disappoint. It was a real privilege to have listened to these inspirational stories from courageous, soul-led, passion-filled, purpose-driven women, who have followed their soul callings against all odds and in the face of adversity and danger.

So, I’m “paying it forward” and hope you’ll take some time to watch this webinar too.

WATCH THIS for truly inspiring messages of self-belief, courage, passion, kindness and soul-led callings for the greater good of humanity❤️

You also need to watch it if you ever feel self-doubt, lack of self-belief, anxiety and fear holding you back from your soul-led aspirations and true purpose in life.

It truly fanned the flames deep in my soul and put my personal worries, concerns and challenges firmly where they need to be – fading into insignificance!!!

Here are the main inspirational messages that struck a chord with me:

💥BELIEVING IN YOURSELF IS KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS💥

It’s more important than anything else and you have to belief you deserve anything and everything you want in your life and that it is available to you.

JUST TAKE MESSY ACTION!🎯

Don’t be the sort of woman who has to do things perfectly or not at all. Perfection stifles growth, creativity and opportunity. Take messy action and keep moving forward.

THERE IS POWER IN PURPOSE🚀

Choose to focus on what makes you feel fulfilled, satisfied and gives you purpose in your life. There is meaning and power in purpose that can help you overcome any challenges you face.

DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE CONTROL YOUR LIFE🙌

It’s your life and only YOU is responsible for what you do with it and how you live it!

I hope you take as much inspiration as I did from watching the webinar.

But if you feel that self-doubt, anxiety, fear and a lack of self-belief is holding you back and keeping you stuck from having the success you desire in your work and life, then please do get in touch. The doors are open for enrolment this week to my new online group programme!

FREE YOUR MIND🧠is a transformational mindset and emotional freedom programme for professional women in middle management and leadership positions. It combines mindset coaching, hypnotherapy, subconscious reprogramming and meridian psychotherapy to help you overcome self-doubt, anxiety, limiting beliefs and energetic blocks holding you back from achieving your aspirations, goals and dreams in life.

This programme will help you blast through the beliefs that keep you stuck and help you believe that anything is possible and you can achieve it!

Book a call to have a chat if you’re interested in finding out more.

🧡Happy International Women’s Day🧡

It’s a good day to remind ourselves to #BreakTheBias we all still face on the road towards equity in our careers and lives, especially the unconscious bias we hold against ourselves.

It’s not our fault – it’s human nature. We are wired to focus more on the negative than the positive, something called “negativity bias” which is our brain’s primitive survival mechanism to keep us alive.

How does this show up for us?

Dr. Rick Hansen explains it well in his book “Hardwiring Happiness”:

“the default setting of the brain is to overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate resources both for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities.”

AKA:
FEAR, ANXIETY, SELF-DOUBT, LACK OF SELF-BELIEF AND FAITH IN YOUR SKILLS & STRENGTHS = IMPOSTER SYNDROME = MISSED OPPORTUNITIES = UNFULFILLED POTENTIAL! 😞

There is growing evidence that our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities have a massive impact on whether we achieve our aspirations and succeed in our careers.

💥BELIEVING IN YOURSELF IS KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS💥

Here’s my 3 top tips to make a start and #BreakTheBias you have unconsciously against yourself:

✨When a negative thought or doubt creeps in, notice it and realise it’s your primitive brain protecting you. Get it out of your head, write it down, reframe and counter it with at least 3 more supportive thoughts to outweigh the negative.⚖️

✨Make a list of everything that you’re proud of yourself for doing or accomplishing in your life, whether it’s overcoming a challenge or adversity or something you did really well. Really tune into that sense and feeling of pride. Then get into the habit of making this a daily practice by noting down your daily “wins” big or small.🏆

✨List at least 5 people who you have helped to remind you of the value you have to offer and always keep a treasure trove of any positive feedback, compliments and testimonials you receive on a daily basis.🧡 Read them whenever you need an extra boost of confidence and self-belief. 💥

If you don’t already do this, start today and #BreakTheBias you hold unconsciously against yourself first.

✨I hope you have an inspirational day! ✨

I’m looking forward to attending the Aspire International Women’s day “It’s a M.A.D World” Global Event.🙌

Dr. Sam Collins was one of the first of many inspirational women who inspired me to start my solopreneur journey to do my bit to make a difference to women’s lives for the better! 💖

#IWD2022 #BreakTheBias #itstartswithyou #believeinyourself #believeachievesucceed #internationalwomensday2022 #professionalwomen

The February Funk

You know what I mean, the good intentions, optimism and motivation to do things differently at the start of a brand new year may be slowly fading and those old, familiar feelings of self-doubt, dejection, disenchantment, malaise and “I can’t do this” creep back in.🤦‍♀️

I’m always inspired by my clients and this has been the topic of conversation this week.

We’ve all experienced it and it’s normal because our minds love the familiar, well trodden neural pathways we’ve grown up with. Its job is to help us survive and it will always want to keep us away from fear and pain, safe and secure in our familiar comfort zone. Even if that safe, secure comfort zone holds us back from what we really want.

In fact, it can take anywhere between 66 -70 days to rewire and change the way you think and the habits and behaviours associated with your thinking, according to neuroscientists.

The good news is that you have the ability to control this process so it keeps going in a positive direction and you proactively manage your mind!🧠

How to get unstuck

All it takes is a little bit of awareness💡, reflection 🤔, some writing✍️ and a “possibilities” mindset🙌🏻 as well as the usual suspects like good sleep, exercise, nutrition and meditation.

Next time you get in a funk try asking yourself these “unlocking” questions to challenge your beliefs, open up possibilities and shift you into a more positive energy.

Unlocking questions

Then take that one small action.

E-MOTION = energy in motion and as soon as you start to take some action, you’re in motion and shifting your energy!

You have the Power!

Your thoughts create your feelings,your feelings create your actions and your actions create your reality and your beliefs can either limit your potential or enhance it.

You don’t have to stay stuck in the funk, once you start to tune in and question and challenge your beliefs, often that can be enough to start clearing them.

As Kyle Gray so eloquently puts it:

“Your mind is an energetic space……..

MIND + ENERGY  = MATTER

So what you focus on in your mind, you support creating!”

You always have a choice and the power to create your reality and your future.

If you’d like to find out more about my new FREE YOUR MIND programmes which give you the mindset, subconscious, psychological and emotional freedom techniques and tools to help you take back control of your mind and life, let’s connect and have a chat.

 Women’s Equality Day

26th August

It’s an opportunity to remember that every girl and woman on the planet
deserves the right to feel safe and loved, be educated, have a home,
vocation and income and be empowered to achieve what they want in
their life!

Countless reviews and research show that we are still significantly under-represented in the workplace at every level with less of us in
management and leadership positions, not to mention the pay disparity
and the lack of business start-up funding we get compared to our male
counterparts.

What’s even more disheartening is the growing body of evidence
suggesting that the pandemic has exacerbated the gender gap when it
comes to women’s mental and economic health and the increasing
domestic violence they’re subject to.

We’ve lost more jobs, our financial security and have taken on more childcare and homeschooling responsibilities so it’s not surprising we’re struggling with more anxiety and other mental health issues.

For those of us dedicated to empowering women, this is a major setback.

The research also tells us that we hold ourselves back in a big way too
because of our own fears and self-doubts.

Perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of judgement, chronic comparisonitis and not measuring up to perceived expectations all keep us stuck!

Lack of confidence and Imposter Syndrome affects up to 75% of women and is a major barrier to professional growth and career progression.

Not only that, research undertaken by Natwest suggests would be
female entrepreneurs are holding themselves back because they lack
faith in their own abilities and feel they don’t deserve to succeed.

Add that to our intense discomfort and social conditioning about
promoting ourselves, the “visibility factor” – which is now so crucial for
promotion and advancement, then there is still so much work to be done.

“Ending all discrimination against women and girls is not only a
basic human right, it’s crucial for a sustainable future; it’s proven
that empowering women and girls helps economic growth and
development”

UNDP

I will do everything I can to empower the women I work with to believe in themsleves, realise their potential and have unstoppable confidence in themselves so that they can overcome the continuing disadvantages and gender bias we still face as women!

I hope this resonates with you. If it does, why not hop across onto my
social media platforms and give my women’s day equality post a like,
comment, share or save to join me too, would appreciate your support!

#togetherwearestronger😘

If ever you feel you might need some help in overcoming self-doubt, anxiety, limiting beliefs, visibility fears and Imposter syndrome, let’s connect and have a chat.

Believe🙌 , Achieve🎯, Succeed🥇

If you’ve been engrossed in the Olympics like I have, you’ll know there’s nothing quite like it to inspire us and witness in action, how crucial your mindset, self-belief and mental health are in realising your dreams and achieving your goals.

We’ve had some inspirational role models “walking the talk” over the last 2 weeks.

Adam Peaty for one with his supreme confidence, champion self-belief and world-class mindset in the pool. His take on visualisation is that it “can be the most powerful thing you could harness in terms of preparation”.

Charlotte Worthington, having fallen after her first attempt, visualising her moves before her second run to become the first woman ever to pull off a 360 backflip to win the BMX gold.

Sky Brown, the incredible 13-year old skateboarder who had everyone on their feet as she became the youngest ever British medallist. You’d never have known that only a year ago she crashed out, fracturing her skull, breaking her arm and damaging her stomach and lungs – her parents wanted her to give it up but invincible Sky knew without a doubt that she was going to Tokyo!

Then on the flip-side Simone Biles, most decorated gymnast in history plagued by a mental block known as the “twisties”. I can only imagine the pain and disappointment she must have felt but really admired her for putting her mental health and self-care first.

What’s the inspiration and learning for us mere mortals?

We’re all human and can achieve our goals and realise our dreams by seeing it, believing it, feeling it, knowing it and taking action to do it and making sure we surround ourselves with people who can help us make it happen!

As Muhammad Ali famously quoted:

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it – then I can achieve it.”

If you’d like to know more about how I can help you believe in yourself, realise your potential and succeed in achieving your goals, book a complimentary connection session and let’s have a chat.

Is there something you worry about that you

need to let go of?

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I used to worry about upsetting people and them not liking me until I realised it was holding me back from really being ME in both my personal life and career.

What’s more it was stopping me from doing what I really wanted to do in life and often I’d end up feeling frustrated, resentful, exhausted, anxious and even depressed because of that.

Is this something that resonates with you too?

Here are my top 5 tips and insights learnt from years of personal experience and what I find really helps my clients too:

🧠 Recognise that people pleasing and constantly seeking approval from others is a subconscious limiting belief – do the deep inner work to get to the root cause of why you have it, reframe it so it serves you well or completely let it go.

🤷‍♀️Accept that you can’t control others’ thoughts and opinions of you, so just keep being yourself and realise that what they think or how they act towards you is more a reflection of who they are – not you.

🛑Stop wasting time waiting for others to make you happy. Take personal responsibility for your own happiness, career and life, it’s no-one else’s job to do this but yours and understand that you are the only one who has the power to do something about it.

🏃‍♀️Don’t chase someone else’s definition of success because of their expectations of you. Dig deep and ask yourself what’s important to you, how would you like to be remembered, what would you like to have achieved and what impact would you like to have made? We’re here a short time, so make it count for you and make sure each day of your life is spent aligned to your values and the vision you have of you and your life.

💫Remember, there is no-one out there quite like you with your exact background, experience, skills, gifts and talents. You are wonderfully and purposefully unique and that is your super power. So, step into that super power and just BE YOU!

Is there something you worry about that you need to let go of?

If you feel brave enough share it in the comments and I bet it’s something we’ve all had to deal with.

If you’d like to know more about how I can help you, book a connection call. I’d love to have a virtual coffee and chat. 😘

Enthusiastic to Exhausted……..

How to get your Mojo back!

It’s out today!

I was so thrilled to be asked back as a guest on the amazing Saj Advice podcast hosted by my biz buddy and friend Saj Akbar and also featuring Jeannette Jackson, biochemist and nutrition expert from the Manchester Stress Institute.

Saj is a recruitment expert and coach and was asked a question by her audience about how you stay motivated and maintain your levels of enthusiasm and self-care in on-going, challenging situations.

We talk about different approaches to get your mojo back and guess what, no surprises here – the need for a holistic, mind-body connection to build up your mental, emotional and physical resilience.

Tune in to the podcast and turn up by clicking the button below and there’s a special offer too for a more motivated and resilient you!

5 Tips to Help Soothe and Quieten Your Inner Critic

Did you know that most women criticise themselves on average at least 8 times a day! We are often our own harshest critics.

Evidence shows we tend to be self-critical about the way we look and the way we feel about our careers, our finances and our relationships and the more negative we are, the more negative our life becomes and the worse we feel about ourselves – and so begins the negative loop into lack of confidence, anxiety and even depression! Yes, harsh, critical words we say to ourselves is one of the main factors in depression.

Most of the time this inner critic isn’t even ours, it comes from the messages, stories and beliefs about ourselves that were formed in our early childhood when we were growing up, especially if we had a challenging childhood, or a dysfunctional family, or experienced bullying, trauma and anxiety provoking events and situations.

Just know that if you have a tendency to be over critical and hard on yourself, you’re not alone. Most people experience it and this definitely used to be me.

I had a lifetime of struggling with not feeling good enough, smart enough, qualified enough, attractive enough, thin enough and pretty much everything enough since about the age of 9 and kept beating myself up about it. Although nobody would ever have known. I did well at school and passed exams, was a talented athlete, went to University and then went on to have a long and successful leadership career in NHS management.

To the outside world I came across as confident, competent and sociable but on the inside I always had those gnawing, knotted, anxious feelings you get when you doubt yourself, don’t feel happy with yourself, don’t even like – never mind love yourself and wish you could be anyone else other than you.

The signs were there though, despite me keeping them hidden – debilitating anxiety, an eating disorder, bouts of depression and over-drinking! Just some of the self-destructive sabotage of the inner critic.

So, I’ve been there and don’t mind admitting that it took me years to overcome it because I didn’t realise the power of that negative internal dialogue. Your words affect your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and have a massive impact on your life.

Now that I’ve done the deep inner work and know better, here are my top 5 tips to help quieten your inner critic.

Think back to your earliest memory of being criticised and not feeling good enough. How old were you? What was going on in your life? Who or what made you feel that way?

Notice when your inner critic keeps showing up, spot the pattern and then ask yourself is it really your internal dialogue or someone else’s? Then ask yourself why are you holding on to this inner critic, when really it came from someone else?

Usually, the reason they are there is to help protect you in some way from emotional pain, whether that’s rejection, judgement, failure, humiliation and so on. Speak to your inner critic as if it is the younger childhood version of you and ask it what it is trying to do for you. Then think about whether the younger, childhood version of you is making the best decisions and still serving you as the adult you are today.

Have compassion for that inner critic part of you that may have felt scared, rejected and helpless as the young child and thinks it’s shielding you from further pain and keeping you safe. Thank it and know that you have the power and choice to let it go.

Visualise your inner critic as your inner cheerleader or inner coach instead who replaces those harsh critical words, with kindness, compassion, empathy, encouragement, compliments and praise and installs self-belief and a “can do” attitude into you.

Every thought you think causes a physical reaction and an emotional response in you. There is scientific evidence based on self-affirmation theory that suggests self-praise and positive affirmations are beneficial for our physical, mental and emotional health and well-being and can have a positive impact on our resilience and how we handle life’s challenges.

It’s a fact, harsh critical words make you physically weaker and positive, praising, empowering words make you stronger.

Your subconscious thoughts and inner dialogue can either support you or prevent you from creating the life and happiness you want and these tips should help.

If you feel you need more, then book a connection call to see how I can help you harness the power of your mind to work for you so it truly becomes your cheerleader.